I dreamt about an old friend let’s call him Situational Sean. In this dream he was really angry and looked at his watch told me I was in the washroom for 1 hour and that I gave him nothing for his birthday. And a whole lot of other things I can’t remember but he told me this is the situational house. He basically put me in a whole bunch of situations and it reminded me that had I not joined his church at one point I would’ve never been his friend. Had this church never existed we would’ve been complete strangers other then the fact that we went to school together at one point in time but never really talked. This brings me to believe that all events in our life are situational whether we take the opportunity or not like love, a new friend, a new job or just a new decision in general. Life/God can’t give us this opportunity when we ask immediately for it because it’s situational; meaning there has to be a condition or story that brings this reality into existence. Funny thing is I had this narrow mentality of a straight and narrow path to justice before. To do the right thing but at the cost of forgetting the grey spectrum, ingenuity and originality. Like converting to something you didn’t fully embrace or believe in. Things didn’t feel right and I just left this church even though I know that it was created specially for me. It reminded me of a big dating service in the long run which guaranteed me getting married but this meant I was also getting married to an idea I wasn’t sure of. Though I fell ill and whole bunch of things happened to me that i wasn’t too happy about as if I was being punished for putting down all the gifts he was putting in front of me. But you can’t blame me for what I do because no one gives a direct message of interest in the world of love it’s all indirect, no one goes up to you and tells you “join my company” without knowing who you are, no one just gives a free trip to Italy without strings. I shouldn’t let uncertainty take away all the fun in life but I want to feel and know that things are right before I make a life altering decision. Though what is life but a world of uncertainty? I guess all you can do is pray things go right and go with the flow.
In my case I’m a little stubborn so my suggestion is never give in to expressing your true self. If you’re looking for something worth holding on to go for it. If all previous decisions never fell through let it be because it was never meant to be. All things that have come to pass you by just means you have more opportunities to look forward to. Maybe your significant other is going through the same process, indecisive and not ready.