Version 2.0; Religion was Never the Answer


If these memories I have coming back are just from previous versions of me. That would make this life equivalent to me being a clone with my memory wiped. My life has been fabricated to suit this set of conditions and circumstances I’m set under. This life that has set into motion is just an enslavement program to make me feel all this life has actual value. When it’s actually just whatever you make it out to be. Once I have kids and find a mate.. the cycle is complete and I provide for these new mouths and the system has me playing as a puppet. And if this happens I am then integrated through attachments to the system. The routine entropy of seeing my loved ones hurt, wars, famine and injustice; everything wrong with the world is the causation to the problem. And the problem is not the bad that we see in the world, the problem is within us is our nature of delusional ego, selfish desires and objective agendas that cause those things in the first place (rooted to hunger, thirst and desire).

If we just learn to let go of the material things in life, if we work to create a life of function and practice rather than having things, status and selfish desires. Then we can be free finally of half the problems humanity is dealing with. Life isn’t about getting things. It’s about the experience and making a world of experience that is suitable and pleasant for all beings. Equality of all race and colors, gender and other varieties of facets.

I’m only partially who I am right now. I am only a portion of my capacity. I make this trip to find myself, and restore my functionality and I may be able to do something. I will break the system. I will find release from this place. I will have quiet of mind. I will find my way home. I will have a solution.

I will establish this world through the strength of love through healing and show them that life isn’t all it appears to be. I’ll do it alone if I have to but there is more to life than this. The more systems we make, the more rules we make for us to follow the more lifeless we become and the more likely we drone to the beat of this notion we call life. I will not let it have me. I am a free man, I was made to create. I am not a technician. I am a healer, teacher and creator. I’m not doing this out of selfishness, and I am aware your children take care of you as you get older. I’m probably likely not going to grow old and die alone, something is bound to happen. But that’s all fine in itself, there has to be a balance and of course I need to not be completely selfless but do it with moderation and some self control.

I play for the objective. I play to win. I am a free man not obligated to serve any man, machine or god. I fight for humanity and I encourage you to join me to heal the world. I answer to no god. I will submit to no god. Authority has no control over who I am, I am the model of empowerment. I do not trust any god that I do not see with my own eyes, I do not give control to a driver that has not earned my trust. I do not give myself away to a spirit who I must trust by faith. They might as well all be demons. I will demonize your god if I must make my own path. May god strike me down, and justice be set in motion for him if I am not in my right. I give myself only to humanity and the health of the collective. If you decide I am unfit to heal your wounds as this healer may you turn to your imaginary god for healing. And whatever impossible things he may do, may he do it over a dozen times until you see with your eyes that what you worship is untrue.

Heaven and hell has no influence on Earth. We are are a separate entity. God nor the devil whether they are real or not has no influence in this plane of existence. This is just another blackhole of entropy, wasted/unexpressed dreams and vacuum of death and despair. But I will make best of it with light. For there is always light in the dark.

He Disappeared like the Wind

quote-how-will-i-be-remembered-as-a-technician-or-artist-as-a-humorist-or-a-visionary-norman-rockwell-75-49-65It isn’t about building the bridge or even using the bridge to jump worlds. It’s about becoming the bridge.

I feel like for a long time I have been living someone else’s dream. Trying to impress a person and show them that I’m something I’m not. I’m a humanitarian.. an environmentalist, a proactive productive thinker.

I decided I’m dropping all my courses and going to live in Tibet/Thailand. I’m going to seek a shaman/monk and get rid of my crutches.. this man made illness possibly self inflicted that is my psychosis. I need to move on with my life and I can’t do it with this crutch.

I’m going to save a bit of money and find myself.. no matter how hard the journey. If i get lost or I suffer death.. or a occurrence of relapse; It will be worth it despite the risks. I want to live my own life. If the cost is the risk of a little trouble.. or a lot of trouble it will make more sense.. because the path is never easy. I will always be able to find and know where home is in my heart. I have known a good home and it is enough for me to grasp what it is to have a family. No matter how dysfunctional.. I know only i can do it, I want to know that I can do it.

I’m not ready for love, marriage and the sort. I’m looking for something in this world.. a value of sentiment and deep meaning. I’m looking for purpose and to define my reason to be here. I’m gonna go even if I’m not ready. I need to leave this place.

So today I’ve decided 3-6 months I am gone as the wind.. leaving everything i know for a strange place. It was nice knowing everyone, if I don’t make it back in one piece. At least I have the legacy that is my blog.

The Last Light

A dream,


I couldn’t remember if he was the “last” light or referred to as the “one” light. But there was an account of a caped man in dark robes who may have been of royal lineage. He had brown curly hand length hair. He told me as he carried me off the shores of a beach; that he was the one who saved me, the reason why things are the way they are, that there were sacrifices made in making my journey possible. I don’t understand it all. He carried my stuff and an ocarina as we walked up some steps.

An ocarina is a musical instrument of Chinese/Japanese descent it’s development and advancement in more notes happened when they came to Europe. There are different types of ocarina including some of the first made of clay with 2-4 notes and a German Gemshorn which was an instrument made out of a horn.

It was implied that i had no memory or lost my memory of the event. It was also implied I was a primal light, a crude and more undeveloped light. But a light none the less. It is possible that maybe i’m not from this time frame.

To Be in Love with an Idea


It’s kind of like punishing yourself for believing that you can pick a fight with the sky or stars or even the world. It’s impossible and madness at that. An angel is a spirit and idea that does not have physical form. The idea of finding one and having a life with one is absurd. That’s why life is a game of Russian Roulette and that some people may never find what they are looking for because it’s unrealistic or does not fit in the world spectrum. I’ll find happiness in other things but just not on this topic. It’s tragic – something no one ever promised but I’m still looking for the caged red canary.

but maybe children’s dreams should be.. what it is.

So i’m letting the bird go free.. to capture other dreams.

Let it be.


Captured Dreams

Punishment for Crimes never committed.

Thoughts never expressed dreams never dreamed.

I speak of worlds never realized.

Are there consequences for them never happening?

I fear that if given what I most desire,

Will it be the end and a end to true potential?

Maybe it’s best it’s never had.

That some dreams should never be expressed.

Torment and frustration of things unexpressed

Seem to knock at the door, yet it is out of reach.

I look for the canary, the sign of Isis but –

it seems some things weren’t meant to be.

Happiness lies in the eyes of the beholder..

And maybe if I find new dreams maybe,

I’ll leave room for other things to happen.

Opening other options.

Just not my caged red canary.

I’m in a loop of the reoccuring Vesica Pisces.

The torment is forever.



Lessons Made of Gold in June 2016

biggest sufferers

This quote is missing something… “But rewarded the most. =)”.

Lessons I learned today,

1.What’s in a name or title? It is the people who want to do the job with the correct intentions that matter.

2. Trust the genuine, small hard working people. They are your grain – bread and butter.

3. Superior people and easy rides usually have agendas and special interests that may conflict with your own objective.

4. Light in dark. Dark in light. In the yin-yang element, follow the good in peoples heart and not the dark they are potential of. Also trust people out of compassion naturally but do so out of honor and courtesy to see their true nature.

5. Luxury is a gateway to corruption. Do not trust great power, trust great heart.

6.  Rule of thumb doesn’t matter how big or small a person may be they may have the biggest heart of them all. Love does not discriminate.

7. The best path is usually the hardest. The easiest is usually a trap.

8. Good trust is best built from the bottom up; Learning to trust yourself first namely and working on those who share a common goal and interests second.  Those worthy of your trust are usually those who don’t mind putting their neck out for you and willing to work extra hours to have it sorted. They aren’t worth it.. if money and time is too much to ask for.

A Glimpse into the Unknowable


Dream inspired revelation,

“Life.. Some call it a gift. I know it by heart, it was a curse of delusions.”

“I took my enemies and imprisoned them in an artificial world. So that they and their children may suffer death, despair and war. I made this world for my revenge, to torment and calm my hatred for the flesh I did once call my own. I control the rips and tears in space-time and all I do is think of a place and it appears before me. You think you are free but what you experience is not reality. It is a bird’s cage of artificial non-living properties, forever temporary and not a touch of divine life you were made for before.”

He took human history (if you would call it that) and changed it; it was warped and distorted and never stayed consistent.. None of the tools we had would ever be able to record time and events like it has now. The prophet’s daughter like him will control the rifts and of course every being he fears he makes an enemy of. His daughter will become his downfall.. but love is universal, stronger than any force and of course with love will bring an offspring. She will bring order back to the world and free those wrongly accused and exiled by the prophet.

We will be free once more.

Human history will never be the same again..

“As for The Creator, before him you will go through me. The Grand Architect. It will be revealed that the Cipher, The Bride and The Other will play a critical role in my demise. And the Child begotten by my one love will be my undoing. As Cronus who ate his children as they were born. So shall I to a degree before I too will be thrown among the mortals”.

Twist, the creator is also the architect who initially was the prophet. The Creator gets dethroned by his daughter knowing his fate all too well and he learns to live and make life on Earth work. Despite the flaws and the trials of hardship faith in humanity is restored once the creator decided to live his own story and determined for himself that human kind was the solution to conflict in the heavens and hell. That the hardship learned in living life on Earth gave a waypoint and foundation for all life and possibilities. The life that men shared was actually a gift to everyone including his enemies. And that where he found only enemies under these conditions on Earth is where he would find them as friends.

Alien or not understood?

A great find today,


A new study has led researchers to conclude that Octopuses (NOT Octopi) have Alien DNA. Their genome shows a never-before-seen level of complexity with a staggering 33,000 protein-coding genes identified, more than in a human being.

So it seems octopuses are apparently alien to our planet this year according to this article. It is still not clear as to say that they come from another planet but they have some interesting things to say about octopus. Having 33, 000 more protein coded genes than the 25, 000 in human beings. It’s ability to problem solve and adapt instantly its neural network properties making memory much easier than anything in the animal kingdom. Biological mechanisms that allow tissues to rapidly change proteins in order to alter their function and camouflage. They say there’s elevated transposon expression in neural tissues found in the octopus. The transposons are known to have the ability to affect the regulation of gene expression and are believed to play major roles in shaping genome structure.

Octopus have an invertebrate genome which puts it’s DNA in a blender and mixed. They are saying that Octopuses have alien baggage genes that they are not of this world which has great claim in the scientific community.

Well I think there’s a lot of things in this world that is unexplained and doesn’t always seem to be what it appears. Human beings themselves can’t be sure that they are not influenced or altered by a genetic evolutionary path led by outside forces. For example there are a population of people who cannot feel emotions or think logically. Some who cannot articulate and express themselves therefore very agitated and confused causing alot of chaos in the world. There are in nature conditions that inhibit and stunt’s a person ability to grow in consciousness, intellect and wisdom.

There’s something called the “de novo” genes that hasn’t been explored yet saying that human genomes can go up to 60, 000 proteins, the catch is that they are very rare. Based on the Orphan genes which are super genes that come from out of “de novo” or (out of nowhere) Some research say that genes can be possibly invoked by conscious thought or “gene alchemy”. Some interesting concepts and ideas that could be of both worlds existing and non-existing worlds.

The octopus genome encodes 168 multi-exonic protocadherin genes which are genes in mollusks, limpets and oysters could be an answer to why it may have so many alien protein genes. Human’s would obviously wouldn’t find those genes too beneficial unless they want to be slug like, or ever secreting slime and other molusk/worm/oyster like qualities. But all the same octopus are super natural and a specimen to wonder about.


other research articles to read about:

The Roots of Human Entropy; Hunger, Thirst and Desire.


Human entropy; Hunger, Thirst and Desire.

These are the three, the root of all human dilemma’s, their suffering and cause of troubles. These three things perpetuate crime, pain and torment in motion. These are the primal elemental forces that drive a being to change his priorities and shift his preferences into a selfish self-benefiting pattern. Life is more selfish, thoughtless and heartless with these at work. These things are the fuel to discrimination, hate and carelessness the world suffers.

There’s an urgent word that must be said about our mentality about sexuality. That a life doesn’t end after rape. A motherhood is possible and opposite a child may be born.. but there’s another point the emotional scars are truly there inside but the physical will, will still be functional. The idea of a body being tainted and losing it’s sacredness is an idiots doctrine for a world of narrow sighted religious babble and the highest order of ignorance. Of course we should keep a woman’s life safe and that she is happy but her freedom is first what she does with her body is her will. That if something as tragic as rape happens there will be some form of justice to pay for those crimes according to a just set of laws to punish the man responsible. Though it should not be with a life. A life of punishment for crime is equal to a life of possible changes in that woman’s life. Just not by death. Death is equal by death crimes, or life in prison.

To be afraid to cause those crimes or be tempted by those crimes by covering up our women in religious garbs. To be always proactive, anxious in fear; to have the headset to fight back is not the route to go. To be proactive through basic self defense and thinking ahead in escaping to tell the proper authorities though, yes. This is the best route for a woman. A person who goes to a Mosque for example and fears to get aroused by a female in bowing position so much that he makes a separate room for them to pray in is a cowards solution. If all men must go through that much trouble to keep their piece of mind then it is a cowards religion, of self doubt and hate for each other and themselves and a practice of male dominant misogyny. I say this because in most religious faiths namely Christian and Muslim they say the figure head is the male. And to this I believe is completely untrue in a ideal world. A person with the right mindset and thinking is capable of great things and a woman is no less capable than a man of doing what a man can do.

There is too much fear and confusion in the world. These religions are a deviation to man kinds thinking – and not a solution. Through heavens inspiration or hell’s it does not matter because we are human beings. We have a different evolutionary path then these other spoken places. We are the species of humans and we must build a way for the humans of this conscious Earth. Heaven knows nothing of Earth. Hell has never known anymore then it’s own self destruction. We are the beings who experience life on Earth. It is up to us and our self responsibility to maintain it and sustain it.



Equivalencies and Learning In Dreams


(A Midsumer’s Night Dream. “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy”).

I had a dream and learned something interesting,


If damnation and debt is by definition causing harm or destruction to oneself.

Redeeming yourself is by definition is production or being constructive with time.

Sanctifying yourself is by definition being proactive and having protective properties.


If damnation is equivalent to making a hole deeper.

If redemption is equivalent to filling the gutter hole to level height

If sanctification is equivalent to piling the gutter hole higher to make a mountain.

Then objective:

  1. Is the objective to make a hole?
  2. Is the objective is to fill the hole to ground level?
  3. Piling the dirt as high as possible to make mountains? (Stockpiling and hording).

There seems to be different approaches and each one seems to have a different function. Seldom will you need a hole, it will usually cause you more harm and put you more in danger of falling into it than help you but a hole as a function is capable of lowering ground level. Filling the gutter hole to level height is ideally where you want to go for the equation for the job to be done. The function of piling dirt as high as possible to make mountains is another function that is considered useful if the ground needs to be higher from the floor.


It seems all functions have a purpose and though I’m aware that damnation and debt causes harm and self destruction it also serves a purpose in the crazy model depending on what the objective is. If life is about partying, having fun and celebrating debt and self destruction seems to be viable to spare. If life is about finding balance, peace and love than filling that hole and moving on is the most logical step. If life is about building proactively and making a mountain so you can have a great view/experience than sanctification is necessary. All life paths are viable in experiences and all decisions make life possible, therefore if you want to live selfishly, productively or proactively the experience is up to you.

Which brings me to this conclusion: The one true thing in life: