Need Stronger Candles. (my complex.)


Driven by the incomprehensible.

Desires for unbelievable.

For lack of words, he who seeks what is not achievable.

I am a casualty of the super natural forces beyond me.

I am a victim of oversight and he who also reaps the rewards of it.

The book of life tells me I am more.

When I feel less.

This journey has been long and has worn me.

My candle stick flickers, threatened to be extinguished.

I am strong, I will not falter.

I will be diligent but at what cost?

What price is to be paid for such feats of strength?

What rewards lay waiting in accompany of victory?

Even heroes can fall to the taint of corruption.

I am strong. i will not falter.

But dear god, I am so lost.

And I don’t want to be found.

Unless it is by what i am looking for.

memories of you are stained on me.

i’m remembering old stories of old times.

Of old people.

Water only flows one direction and the stream of time;

doesn’t allow me to change the past.

I may write my story alone in the dark.

I hold my candle, trying to be brave against the wind.

I’m just so afraid, I’m haunted by a unnatural past.

A place i cannot touch, only to reminisce through a story glass.

Watching through my mind’s eye, or imagination.

What is life, if you can’t tell the difference anymore.

It is this false hope that will drive me into the madness i call reality.

Welcome home.

All too familiar. All too cruel. Just the usual.

Sleep my dear, everything is all right.

It’s just another dream, within a dream.. within somebody’s nightmare

When you wake all the horrors will be meaningless.

and all your dreams and hopes.. they become lingering sparks of potential.

One day. Life will manifest your dreams.

I will realize it was all just a dream or life will grant me it’s shadow of a doppelganger.

Life is a Savored Pie


Life is savory, it is a pie. It’s ingredients nurtured to perfection from the ground up. As people are born crawling to adulthood. The dough of the pie kneaded and rolled. The foundation of society must be laid so that life can be paved. In paved i mean to say that life must be full of opportunities, learning of life and passions. The pie must be cooked and to a golden crisp. It is here that you find that it must become aesthetic, appropriate and delicious. Alluring to the taste and tailored to a certain pallet or standard of life. Life is a pie, you mustn’t burn the pie charcoal or make it too under cooked.

This is my metaphor to what life is. It is suitable for consumption and satisfies a human intellect for what it craves. Full of euphoria, positive thought and warmth – encouraging things that brings a person to allow them a peace of mind, understanding and education on ideas that may be complicated and cannot be reasoned. When you trust yourself, you become much more then you think you are. When you believe you can do something wonderful things can occur. When you apply yourself this is where all the magic happens and where realities become manifested.

Enjoy your day,

Visited by a toddler shadow person.


Last night 5 am August 12 /15 I was having a strange dream about my mother and that her health was declining. It was quite a grim thought and as i awoke from that thought in my dream  I  saw a toddler about 3 feet tall standing right beside me. At first i thought it was my dog but it walk backwards so fast right into the piano and disappeared. And dogs don’t walk, specifically my dog doesn’t walk at least. It had small legs, I could see little legs moving in a walking motion.  The first emotion I had when I reached my hand  out towards it was shock I knew it wasn’t my dog but reached out for it anyways. I was right up to it’s face when i woke up from the sofa. All i saw was a pitch black 3 feet shadow person observing me while i slept.

Anyone ever have an experience like this before? It has broaden my eyes on the super natural things that happen in our world. I’m surprised and alittle afraid to go back to sleep but it’s just a toddler or something taking the form of a toddler. It probably is safe to assume they mean no harm.